--- title: 'BUTTHURT DESIGNER DECLARES HISTORIC VICTORY OVER SATIRE, BUT PRODUCTS STILL A BIT SHIT' url: 'https://thesecondliar.co.uk/butthurt-designer-declares-historic-victory-over-satire-but-products-still-a-bit-shit' markdown: 'https://thesecondliar.co.uk/butthurt-designer-declares-historic-victory-over-satire-but-products-still-a-bit-shit.md' date: '2026-10-09' description: 'A SECOND LIFE designer has declared himself the winner of a bitter dispute with a satirical publication, despite nobody being entirely sure what competition he was entering or whether anyone else knew they were playing. The creator, whose virtual products have been described as "perfectly adequate …' --- PEOPLE & DRAMA # BUTTHURT DESIGNER DECLARES HISTORIC VICTORY OVER SATIRE, BUT PRODUCTS STILL A BIT SHIT A virtual designer has announced a triumphant victory over an article that hurt his feelings, although customers report that his products remain exactly as dated as they were yesterday. 9 October 2026 A SECOND LIFE designer has declared himself the winner of a bitter dispute with a satirical publication, despite nobody being entirely sure what competition he was entering or whether anyone else knew they were playing. The creator, whose virtual products have been described as "perfectly adequate if you're still living in 2014", reportedly celebrated after discovering that an article making fun of something had encountered an administrative difficulty. "This is a tremendous victory for creativity, justice and the entire fashion industry," he allegedly announced in a fictional statement prepared exclusively for this newspaper. "People need to understand that you cannot simply make jokes about things. Particularly things that I have made, things that I might make, or things that I once considered making." The designer, who has spent several years perfecting the art of selling yesterday's innovations at tomorrow's prices, insisted that the outcome vindicated his commitment to artistic excellence. Customers, however, were less convinced. "I don't really understand what he's won," said resident Kenzie Thistlewick, 43. "I bought something from his shop three years ago and it still looks like it was assembled during a power cut in a garden shed. Perhaps he could put his new trophy next to the customer service desk. Assuming he ever builds one." Industry observers have noted that the virtual fashion business has undergone considerable technological development over the past decade, although some creators have courageously resisted the temptation to participate. One independent reviewer described the designer's catalogue as "a fascinating historical record of what people used to think was quite good". Another suggested that the products might benefit from a redesign, an updated texture, improved functionality or, failing all of those, a small fire. The designer has dismissed such criticism as further evidence of a coordinated campaign against his artistic vision. "People are jealous of success," he explained in another statement that he has not actually made. "They see someone like me winning an argument and immediately start talking about product quality. It's completely irrelevant." Meanwhile, the satirical publication at the centre of the imaginary controversy has continued publishing articles, much to the disappointment of people who believe freedom of expression should extend exclusively to things they personally agree with. A spokesperson for the fictional Department of Hurt Feelings confirmed that the designer would receive a commemorative certificate recognising his achievement. The award, entitled **Outstanding Contribution to Taking Yourself Far Too Seriously**, will be presented at a ceremony attended by several people who have already muted him. It is understood that the certificate will feature materials last updated in 2016. At the time of publication, the designer was reportedly preparing a celebratory product release featuring a slightly modified version of something he already sells, available in twelve colours, eight of which are beige. **The Second Liar understands that the designer has won the argument, the moral high ground and the right to feel enormously pleased with himself.** Unfortunately, none of these achievements appears to have made his products any less shit. 0 [ People & Drama ](https://thesecondliar.co.uk/people) --- ## Navigation - Previous: [NEW INDIE CLUB RECREATES AUTHENTIC UNDERGROUND EXPERIENCE WITH £40 MILLION SOUND SYSTEM AND KURT COBAIN TIP JAR](https://thesecondliar.co.uk/new-indie-club-recreates-authentic-underground-experience-with-gbp40-million-sound-system-and-kurt-cobain-tip-jar.md) - Next: [TOXIC GIGGLING TEENAGE GIRL CLIQUE DISCOVERED TO BE FOUR WOMEN IN THEIR FIFTIES](https://thesecondliar.co.uk/toxic-giggling-teenage-girl-clique-discovered-to-be-four-women-in-their-fifties.md)