--- title: 'WOMAN PUTS ‘I’M FINE THANK YOU’ IN PROFILE BECAUSE APPARENTLY EVERYONE WANTS TO SHAG HER' url: 'https://thesecondliar.co.uk/woman-puts-im-fine-thank-you-in-profile-because-apparently-everyone-wants-to-shag-her' markdown: 'https://thesecondliar.co.uk/woman-puts-im-fine-thank-you-in-profile-because-apparently-everyone-wants-to-shag-her.md' date: '2026-11-10' description: 'A SECOND LIFE woman has put “I’M FINE THANK YOU” in her profile to discourage the relentless hordes of men apparently attempting to seduce her by asking how she is. Scarlett Moonbeam, 47, believes the traditional human greeting “How are you?” represents such a catastrophic failure of imagination th…' --- PEOPLE & DRAMA # WOMAN PUTS ‘I’M FINE THANK YOU’ IN PROFILE BECAUSE APPARENTLY EVERYONE WANTS TO SHAG HER A SECOND LIFE woman has put “I’M FINE THANK YOU” in her profile to discourage the relentless hordes of men apparently attempting to seduce her by asking how she is. 10 November 2026 **A SECOND LIFE woman has put “I’M FINE THANK YOU” in her profile to discourage the relentless hordes of men apparently attempting to seduce her by asking how she is.** Scarlett Moonbeam, 47, believes the traditional human greeting “How are you?” represents such a catastrophic failure of imagination that anyone wishing to speak to her should instead arrive with a prepared opening monologue, three references and preferably a Booker Prize nomination. “It’s right there in my profile. I’m fine thank you. You don’t need to ask,” she explained. “If you want my attention, say something interesting.” Scarlett is particularly irritated because she knows exactly where “How are you?” leads. Sex. Every time. She insists that men do not randomly ask women how they are without an ulterior motive, a revelation which will come as alarming news to receptionists, taxi drivers, work colleagues, supermarket cashiers and approximately eight billion other people who had previously believed it was simply something you said before getting on with whatever you were doing. “I can tell immediately when someone is trying it on with me,” she added. Her evidence for this includes men saying hello, standing within fifteen metres of her avatar and, on one particularly blatant occasion, asking whether the dance machine was working. Resident Caleb Darkheart described his own encounter with Scarlett as one of the shortest conversations of his Second Life career. “I said, ‘Hi, how are you?’ and she immediately told me to read her profile. So I did. It said she was fine. I said ‘Good’ and teleported somewhere else because she seemed like hard work.” Scarlett interpreted his sudden departure as evidence that he had realised she was too intelligent to fall for his seduction technique. “He obviously wasn't prepared to put the effort in,” she said. Caleb confirmed that this was completely correct, adding that he had originally only approached her because she was standing in front of the tip jar. Scarlett's profile now contains detailed instructions explaining that prospective conversational partners should read all seven tabs before approaching her, mention something demonstrating that they have absorbed the material, avoid boring questions and understand that she is **“NOT HERE TO ENTERTAIN YOU.”** She nevertheless expects complete strangers to entertain her, preferably without requiring her to contribute anything beyond an occasional “lol”. Friends say Scarlett has spent years complaining that men in Second Life are incapable of conversation while simultaneously constructing an administrative process for saying hello roughly equivalent to applying for planning permission. Her Picks section includes **“DON'T JUST SAY HI”**, **“I DON'T ANSWER ‘HOW ARE YOU?’”**, **“READ BEFORE IMing”** and a 900-word essay entitled **“EFFORT”**, written by someone whose own contribution to most conversations is “lol”. “I just think if someone genuinely wants to get to know me, they should make an effort,” Scarlett explained, before complaining that nobody ever approaches her with anything original to say. Asked why she assumes everybody who speaks to her wants to get to know her, Scarlett stared silently for several seconds, apparently struggling to comprehend a question which had not already accepted her desirability as an established fact. Scarlett insists her profile is not intended to discourage conversation, merely to ensure that only genuinely interesting people approach her. Unfortunately, the genuinely interesting people have read it. 1 [ People & Drama ](https://thesecondliar.co.uk/people) --- ## Navigation - Previous: [WOMAN QUIETLY MARKS PERSONAL LIFE CHANGE IN NIGHTCLUB CONTAINING 90 PEOPLE](https://thesecondliar.co.uk/woman-quietly-marks-personal-life-change-in-nightclub-containing-90-people.md) - Next: [SECOND LIFE INTRODUCES CREDIT RATINGS FOR MEN HOPING TO SPEAK TO WOMEN WITH A WISHLIST](https://thesecondliar.co.uk/second-life-introduces-credit-ratings-for-men-hoping-to-speak-to-women-with-a-wishlist.md)