A man who has spent the last eleven years proudly displaying his Myers-Briggs personality type in his profile has been informed by independent researchers that, irrespective of which four letters he chooses, he remains an absolutely monumental twat. The resident, who identifies as an INTJ, describes himself as a strategic thinker, fiercely independent intellectual and someone who operates on a level most people simply cannot comprehend. His profile also contains the words "I don't suffer fools gladly", which researchers say is generally the first indication that they're dealing with one.
The investigation began after the man updated his profile for the seventeenth time this month, adding a detailed explanation of why his particular combination of letters makes him exceptionally rare, intellectually superior and fundamentally misunderstood. The update was accompanied by a black-and-white photograph of a wolf and a quotation incorrectly attributed to Friedrich Nietzsche.
Researchers initially believed the man's behaviour might be explained by his personality classification. However, after testing him against all sixteen Myers-Briggs types, they discovered that he was an insufferable prick in every single one. "We tried introversion, extroversion, intuition, sensing, thinking, feeling, judging and perceiving," explained Dr Simon Bell, who led the study. "We even let him choose his own answers. It made absolutely no difference. He was a cunt across the entire spectrum." The researchers noted that while the Myers-Briggs system attempts to categorise how individuals process information and interact with the world, it contains no specific provision for people who interrupt conversations to explain why they're more intelligent than everyone else. The man has rejected the findings, claiming that the researchers fundamentally misunderstand the complexity of his personality. He has since posted a 2,800-word response in his Picks section, explaining that his superior cognitive functions make him particularly vulnerable to criticism from intellectually inferior individuals.
"People often mistake my honesty for arrogance," he explained, shortly before informing a woman he'd never met that her taste in music demonstrated a lack of emotional and intellectual development. "I'm not rude. I'm simply operating at a different frequency." Other residents have expressed surprise that a man who claims to be emotionally detached, rational and entirely uninterested in the opinions of others has spent the past six hours arguing with strangers about whether he is emotionally detached, rational and entirely uninterested in the opinions of others.
His former partner, who identifies as an INFJ empath, said she had always suspected something was wrong but had initially attributed his behaviour to the unusual compatibility challenges between their respective personality types. "I thought we had a deep intellectual connection," she explained. "Then I realised he was just explaining things I'd already said back to me, but more slowly." The findings have prompted calls for the introduction of a seventeenth Myers-Briggs category specifically for Second Life residents whose entire personality consists of telling other people what their personality is. The man has now changed his profile to ENTJ, explaining that he has undergone a profound period of personal growth.
Researchers have confirmed that he is still a cunt.