A new dating system will assess male residents according to their ability to purchase items from women's wishlists, finally removing the inconvenience of getting to know somebody before discovering they're poor.
A SECOND LIFE dating agency has launched a revolutionary new compatibility system aimed specifically at women who display wishlists in their profiles, allowing them to establish whether a man is worth speaking to by examining his financial ability to purchase things that don't exist.
The system, called LindenScore, replaces traditional dating criteria such as personality, kindness, intelligence and shared interests with a straightforward assessment of how many items a man can afford from a woman's wishlist. Developers believe the technology will eliminate thousands of hours currently wasted on conversations with men who turn out to have fewer than 2,000 Lindens.
"For years, women have had to endure the exhausting process of getting to know somebody, developing feelings and establishing an emotional connection, only to discover that he can't afford a Lelutka head," explained company founder Cassandra Bellamy, 43. "That's time she'll never get back."
Under the new system, men are assigned a credit rating based on their Linden balance, previous gift purchases and willingness to buy expensive fatpacks without asking why the recipient needs another black dress. Those with fewer than L$500 receive a rating of Financially Uninteresting and are automatically prevented from initiating conversations with women whose wishlists exceed L$10,000.
Men with between L$500 and L$2,000 may send a friendship request but must not attempt flirting, complimenting an avatar or asking how somebody's day has been. Residents holding between L$2,000 and L$10,000 qualify for Potentially Useful status, allowing them to initiate conversations, exchange occasional affectionate messages and purchase moderately priced footwear.
The highest classification, Emotionally Available, is reserved for men with more than L$50,000 who demonstrate a willingness to spend it without expecting anything unreasonable in return, such as a reply.
"We've deliberately avoided calling it a financial assessment," Cassandra explained. "That would make it sound shallow. We prefer to think of it as measuring someone's capacity for generosity, emotional maturity and unconditional love."
The system also analyses a woman's wishlist to calculate her minimum acceptable relationship expenditure. A woman requesting a L$250 necklace will be classified as approachable, while somebody with seventeen mesh heads, eight bodies, 93 fatpacks and a fully furnished beachfront estate will automatically be matched with men who have access to their pension savings.
Cassandra insists the system is not discriminatory. "Absolutely anybody can use LindenScore. We're not saying poor men don't deserve love. We're simply suggesting they should perhaps look for it amongst other poor people."
Early trials have already produced encouraging results. One participant, 51-year-old Derek from Nottingham, was initially rated Romantically Ineligible after admitting he had only L$340. Following a successful appeal in which he demonstrated access to a credit card, Derek was upgraded to Worth Keeping Around and permitted to speak to a woman called Princess Eternity.
Within forty minutes, he had purchased her a L$3,500 dress, two hairstyles and a pair of boots. "It's going really well," Derek told The Second Liar. "She called me sweetie twice and said she'd love to get to know me better when she's less busy."
Princess Eternity was unavailable for comment, having spent the afternoon getting married to somebody else.
Not everyone has welcomed the initiative. Men's rights campaigners have criticised the system for reducing relationships to financial transactions, while several female residents have expressed concern that publishing their wishlists might make them appear materialistic.
Cassandra dismissed both objections. "Nobody is forcing men to buy anything. These are entirely voluntary purchases made by adults who understand that generosity is an important part of building meaningful relationships."
She added that women would retain the right to reject any man regardless of his credit rating, purchase history or financial circumstances. "Money can't buy love," she explained. "But it can buy a woman six fatpacks, a new mesh body and a very convincing reason to pretend she likes you."
LindenScore is expected to launch next month, with developers already working on a premium feature allowing women to receive notifications whenever a man they've previously blocked acquires more money.
The company has also confirmed that men whose Linden balance falls below the minimum threshold during an existing relationship will receive an automatic notification informing them that their girlfriend needs space. Usually in somebody else's skybox.