Toxic Teenage Girl Clique Discovered to Have Combined Age of Over 200
A group of four almost identical female avatars standing in a straight line and silently judging everyone around them has been identified as a toxic teenage girl clique whose members are, somewhat astonishingly, all old enough to remember decimalisation.
SECOND LIFE residents have expressed surprise after discovering that four women who spend their evenings standing shoulder to shoulder, wearing virtually identical outfits and conducting a running character assassination of everyone within rendering distance are not, as previously assumed, particularly unpleasant fourteen-year-olds. They are, in fact, women in their fifties.
The four, who share the same surname, hairstyle, facial features and apparent inability to develop independent personalities, have become a familiar sight at clubs across the grid, where they arrange themselves into a neat horizontal formation resembling a particularly judgemental selection of shop mannequins. Minor differences in their clothing are believed to be deliberate attempts at establishing individual identities, although these have so far been limited to slightly different shades of black, varying heel heights and one of them occasionally wearing a hat.
"It's genuinely quite impressive," said one resident. "They've managed to create four separate avatars and somehow ended up with the same woman four times. It's like someone pressed Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V and then adjusted the lipstick."
Witnesses say the group rarely interacts with anyone outside its immediate membership, preferring instead to communicate through a private group chat in which they assess the appearance, relationships, clothing, dancing ability and general worth of everyone unfortunate enough to enter their field of vision. Their public appearances are generally accompanied by occasional synchronised giggling animations, unsolicited gestures and bursts of laughter that appear to have been triggered by the mere existence of another woman.
"They just stand there," explained one club regular. "Four of them in a row, completely motionless, occasionally doing that little giggling animation. You know they're talking about someone because one of them will turn her head slightly and the other three will suddenly start laughing. Last night I walked past them wearing a new dress and all four stopped moving at exactly the same time. I felt like I'd wandered into the staff room of a particularly unpleasant secondary school."
Sources close to the group have revealed that its private conversations consist largely of comments such as "OMG LOOK AT HER", "WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS", "HAHAHAHA" and "I'm not being nasty but...", a phrase which invariably precedes something spectacularly nasty. One member is reportedly responsible for identifying potential victims, another provides enthusiastic agreement, a third contributes laughing emojis, while the fourth occasionally attempts an original thought before being reminded that this is not how the group operates.
Psychologists have described the arrangement as a fascinating example of arrested social development, in which the emotional maturity of a thirteen-year-old has somehow survived thirty-seven additional years of birthdays, mortgages, divorces and supermarket loyalty cards.
"At fifty-three, most people have developed at least a passing understanding of empathy, perspective and the fact that other people are allowed to exist without their approval," explained behavioural specialist Dr Eleanor Marsh. "These women appear to have missed that particular developmental milestone and instead devoted their adult lives to perfecting the art of whispering about someone's shoes."
The clique insists that its behaviour is simply harmless fun between close friends and that anyone taking offence is probably jealous. "We're just four strong, independent women who support each other," said one member, before immediately returning to the group chat to describe another woman's avatar as looking like a fucking lampshade. Another insisted that they had no interest in drama, despite spending the previous forty-five minutes discussing a woman none of them had ever spoken to.
"We're actually really nice people once you get to know us," she added, although nobody has yet been able to establish how this might be achieved without first applying for membership, changing their surname and purchasing the approved hairstyle.
Club owners have confirmed that the group presents no immediate threat to public safety, although several residents have complained about the oppressive atmosphere generated by four middle-aged women behaving as though the entire grid is a school corridor and they have been appointed its unofficial popularity committee.
At the time of publication, the four were still standing in exactly the same positions, wearing exactly the same clothes and privately congratulating one another on being completely different from all the other women in Second Life.
Their combined age is believed to exceed 200 years. Their combined emotional age remains under investigation.