WINTER-THEMED SIMS JOIN FORCES TO MAKE SURE EVERY ONE OF THEM HAS A SKATING RINK
SECOND LIFE’S winter-themed regions have announced an unprecedented collaboration to ensure that absolutely every single one of them contains a skating rink.
The initiative, Winter Wonderland 2026, will guarantee residents are never more than thirty metres from an oval patch of ice surrounded by fairy lights, regardless of whether anybody actually wants to skate on it.
“We looked at what makes a successful winter destination,” explained organiser Felicity Snowdrift, “and the answer was clear. Skating rink. People might think they want beautiful landscapes, atmospheric forests or interesting things to discover, but what they actually want is to attach themselves to a free skating animation and travel slowly in a circle for eleven minutes.”
MAGICAL
The announcement means preparations can now begin for Second Life’s annual transformation of several hundred regions into exactly the same place.
Each will feature snow-covered pine trees, strategically positioned reindeer, wooden cabins, frozen lakes, strings of warm white lights and at least one suspiciously photogenic bridge. There will also be a hot chocolate stall selling steaming mugs of cocoa which, once attached, cannot be detached, leaving residents condemned to spend the rest of winter holding a hot drink they can neither consume nor put down.
Organisers have confirmed every region will describe itself as “a magical winter escape”, with several expected to take the bold creative step of calling themselves Winter’s Embrace.
Others are believed to be considering Snowfall, Enchanted Winter, Whispers of Winter and Frost, because apparently there are no other words.
SKATING
At the centre of each destination will be the traditional skating rink, where couples can enjoy the romantic experience of clipping through each other while performing animations created in 2013.
Among them will be at least one man who quite clearly does not want to be there, gliding endlessly around the rink in perfect synchronisation with his partner, his expression conveying the quiet despair of somebody who has been told this is what they are doing for the evening. Every turn, every pirouette and every affectionate little flourish will be performed with the mechanical precision of a man whose only contribution to the experience was reluctantly accepting an animation request forty minutes ago. His partner will describe the evening as magical. He will have been watching pro-celebrity origami on his other monitor since half past seven.
Single visitors will also be catered for with a solo skating animation involving holding both arms out sideways and looking as though they have recently suffered a significant neurological event.
“I absolutely love exploring winter sims,” said resident Clementine Everfrost, who has already taken 340 photographs of herself standing in snow this year despite it still being October. “They're all so unique. Yesterday I visited one with pine trees, a cabin and a skating rink, then another with a cabin, pine trees and a skating rink. The second one also had an owl.”
INNOVATION
Some creators had initially proposed experimenting with winter attractions other than skating. Ideas included skiing, curling, sledging, snowshoeing, winter markets and perhaps simply creating an interesting landscape that people might enjoy exploring.
These suggestions were immediately rejected for being completely ridiculous.
“We briefly considered not having a skating rink,” admitted region owner Barnaby Tinselwick. “But then somebody asked where the skating rink was and we realised we'd gone too far.”
The rink was subsequently installed beside a wooden bench bearing a blanket, two mugs of eternally steaming cocoa and an open book that nobody has ever read.
PHOTOGRAPHY
Second Life photographers have welcomed the initiative and are preparing for the traditional three-month period in which Flickr becomes 87 per cent women wearing thigh-high boots and a jumper that inexplicably stops immediately beneath their breasts.
Each photograph will feature falling snow, depth of field powerful enough to obscure most of the region and a caption such as “In the silence of winter, I found myself.”
The photographer will have found herself approximately four metres from the skating rink.
Meanwhile, organisers have confirmed that, as in previous years, every winter destination will feature at least one complimentary furry hand muff, allowing residents to make the traditional joke about keeping their hands warm inside their muff.
“It's a lovely bit of harmless seasonal fun,” explained Prudence Frostwhistle, who has been making the same joke every December since 2009. “You tell someone you've got your hands in your furry muff, they pretend to be shocked, and everyone has a little giggle.”
Organisers have asked residents to remember that the joke is only funny the first time, a restriction which, if applied across Second Life, would leave approximately eleven people with anything to say.