A Second Life tattoo creator has been arrested after investigators discovered that none of the Japanese tattoos sold in her shop meant what she claimed, including a bestselling design advertised as “Unbreakable” which actually read “Not suitable for tumble drying”.
Miyuki Darkrose, who runs spiritual body-art boutique Eternal Ink, was detained on Tuesday following a complaint from a Japanese-speaking customer who wanted to know why the model in the shop window had “The assistant manager is a massive prick” written down her spine. Darkrose initially explained that Japanese was “a very spiritual language” and that meanings could vary depending on the individual. Police confirmed that “Refunds are available only on unopened electrical goods” did not become “Warrior Soul” simply because the wearer had been through a difficult breakup.
Among the designs examined was a chest tattoo sold as “Honour and Loyalty”, which translated as “Please retain your receipt.” A popular wrist tattoo labelled “Inner Peace” read “The lift is currently out of order.” Another, purchased by more than 300 residents under the name “Beautiful Disaster”, meant "All visitors must report to reception.”
“We became suspicious when we noticed how much Japanese was apparently required to say ‘Hope’,” said investigating officer Saito. “The tattoo covered both shoulder blades and most of the lower back. It was actually a detailed notice reminding residents to ensure the gate was closed after use.”
Customer Raven Bloodrose said she was devastated to discover that the elegant lettering running down her thigh did not mean “She Who Cannot Be Tamed”. “It means ‘“Please do not put sanitary products down the toilet.” she said. “I wore that to my wedding. People were telling me it was beautiful. One woman said she had tears in her eyes. In retrospect, she was the only Japanese guest.”
Further examination revealed that Darkrose’s premium couples set, “Two Souls, One Destiny”, consisted of two separate phrases meaning “Your parcel has been left with a neighbour” and “Please allow 28 days for delivery.” Darkrose defended the product, insisting the phrases “still represented a powerful connection between two people”.
Her men’s range has proved equally controversial. A full-sleeve design marketed as “Alpha” translates as “This machine accepts exact change only.” Another, sold as “Fear No Man”, reads “Please use the other entrance.” One resident who had worn “Silent Assassin” across his chest for eighteen months learned that he had actually been displaying “The buffet closes at half past three.” He has since covered it with a wolf.
Police say Darkrose’s translation process involved searching for “Japanese writing aesthetic”, copying anything that looked suitably profound and assigning it an emotion. “She wasn’t even restricting herself to Japanese,” said Saito. “One of the ‘Ancient Wisdom’ designs was a Korean instruction for replacing a fridge filter. Another was a restaurant’s Wi-Fi password.”
Darkrose’s legal representative has asked the public to respect her privacy during what he described as “a difficult and deeply humiliating spiritual journey”. She has since released a statement showing a single line of Japanese calligraphy, which she says means “The truth will set me free.”
Police have confirmed it means ““These toilets are for customer use only.”